SINGLE PRINGLE’S GUIDE TO VALENTINE’S DAY

As the resident single guy of The Advocate newspaper and broadcast team, I’ve never really liked Valentine’s Day. A day for romance, love, and hanging out with your significant other doesn’t really provide a good environment for someone who doesn’t actually have a significant other.

Fear not, ladies and gentlemen who are in the same boat as me: I have come up with a list for what to do on the loneliest day in the year for many of us 45.2% Americans in the United States who are single (U.S. Census Bureau, 2017).

1. Call your parents. No matter if they are married or divorced, they would love to hear from you. Plus, if they are divorced, they would love to hear from you rather than the other person that helped make you.

2. Hang out with friends.  The best way to prevent loneliness is to put yourself in the presence of other people who know and care for you. Go to a movie with them, although most likely they will have their own significant others with them and nobody likes to be a third wheel.

3. Take a walk outside. The air is nice and cool, and a good walk clears the mind of many stresses and things. It’s proven – that is, until you walk by all the couples holding hands, giving each other hugs, or the occasional make-out session on the park bench.

4. Go to the store. You may need things at the house. Go put your mind on something else, like finding stuff to help you survive. That is, until you reach the Valentine’s Day aisle where people who just nearly forgot about it have completely demolished the shelves of heart-shaped chocolates and stuffed animals.

5. Eat out. Nothing helps like a good meal. Food allows us to be comfortable and taste the good things that go into it. At least, until you look up and see all the people laughing with each other over candlelight and you lose your appetite.

6. Listen to music. Music boosts your spirit. It can make you feel better with just a few notes and boost your morale… until you realize that half of your music selection is about love and breakups and still you don’t want to skip this one, like you probably should, because it’s just that good of a song.

7. Take a drive. Nobody does Sunday drives anymore just for the fun of it. The feel of the motor running, the free spirit of driving without a destination. Enjoy… until you see all the parties that are going on and you just don’t want to deal with that.

8. Watch YouTube videos in bed. The bed is where you are most comfortable and there are so many videos out there to entertain you that you can stay there for the rest of the day. Especially on this day.

9. Eat a ton of chocolates. It doesn’t matter if it’s German chocolates (the good stuff) or Hershey’s (the bad stuff), you need something sweet in your system. And chocolate is the most appropriate, especially since you bought the heart-shaped ones at the store earlier.

10. Take a shower and cry yourself to sleep. A cold shower has been proven to help boost your mind. But in all honesty the only reason why the shower is cold is because your water heater sucks, and the water that’s going down the sink is 98% water from the utility and 2% tears. So, let it out, champ, and you can sleep soundly for next day.

And there you go: 10 simple things that remind you of your loneliness… I mean, help keep your mind off your loneliness.

Here’s to a better one next year!

Advocate Staff