This is not a movie scene

High School Vs. Real Life

The biggest lie I’ve been sold in my four years of high school is the idea that life will just fall into place.

Every coming-of-age movie on Netflix shows the character walking across the graduation stage, heading straight to some Ivy League school, ready to conquer the world.

But they don’t show the sleepless nights spent filling out endless scholarship forms, the constant worry about how to pay for basic expenses like car insurance, or the panic that hits when you turn 18 and are suddenly responsible for your own health insurance.

It feels like drowning in paperwork, as if I’m applying for the presidency instead of trying to get my life together.

I always thought senior year would be fun—full of prom and friends. But for me, that’s not how it turned out. I decided to be a full-time college student my senior year, and I haven’t set foot in my high school in almost two years.

Before joining the early college program, my routine was the same for my freshman and sophomore years: I would wake up at 6 a.m., go to school until 3:30 p.m., then come home and dive straight into homework. It felt endless, a cycle of exhaustion with no room for anything else.

I left because the constant pressure and controlling environment made it impossible to keep going. At some point, I just had to choose what was best for me. I often wondered why the suicide rates among teens are so high – it’s because it feels like you’re stuck in a system that’s working against you, but no one realizes it until it’s too late. In my case, I was battling depression.

Even with everything I was going through, teachers would say, “Don’t stress. Enjoy your youth.” But what youth? What do they mean by that when I felt trapped by the endless cycle?

I chose Mt. Hood Community College for college credit, and while it was tough, I learned something invaluable: how to take charge of my own life.

I didn’t stay for the credits or the promise of a college education; I stayed because it gave me control over my day-to-day decisions, something I wasn’t getting from high school. It’s lonely, though. There are no friends or close relationships, mainly because most people on campus are already adults with their own lives, but I find peace in knowing that I’m building my future on my terms.

I may have missed out on certain high school experiences like prom or senior traditions, but at least I’m in control of where my life is heading.

And when I look back, I realize that it’s okay not to have everything figured out like the movies say we should. I’m figuring it out, one day at a time.

Mary Nashed